A review of the COVID-19 briefings with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau from the perspective of a captivated Nova Scotian
March 16, 2020 – March 15, 2021
[CW: Language.. and many things quoted weren’t actually said.. but are translations of the author]
On March 16, 2020, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau addressed Canadians from his front steps about the coronavirus (because he was in isolation due to his wife contracting the virus).
Being a Nova Scotian, the virus was announced as detected in my province the day before. We were the last province in Canada to do so. I found it a bit alarming that my Premier, Stephen McNeil, held a briefing that day, and found it even more alarming that the Prime Minister would hold one the next day. I thought “hey, this might be something, I should watch..” and then I just never stopped.
A review of the past year’s briefings (media availabilities and announcements) with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau
He wore a blue, as well as a bright green, a navy and mustard striped, a red, a light red, a red polka dotted, a light blue, a navy, a purple, a black, a grey, a light green, a charcoal, another green, a light purple, a dark red, and a red pattern tie.
March 16, 2020, Justin Trudeau denies entry to Canada to anyone who isn’t a Canadian citizen, family member of a Canadian citizen, or American citizen. Canadians will be supported financially to return home and should do so as soon as possible.
Air operators are to deny anyone who is visibly sick entry onto an airplane.
Toronto, Montreal, Vancouver, and Calgary are the only airports to international flights.
He comments 25,000 tests for COVID-19 had been performed across the country to that date.
We can slow the spread of the virus.
Come home. Stay home.
March 17, Ontario declares a state of emergency. All National parks closed. He was examining the Emergency Measures Act. [Stares in 2021.]
March 18, We close the border to the US. Emergency Care Benefit for people who are sick or supporting those who are sick and the Emergency Support Benefit for those who have lost their job but are not eligible for EI benefits is announced. CCB boost will be coming. In May GST will be boosted. He had to go get his coat.
March 19, 50,000 Canadians had been tested for COVID-19.
March 21, the first Saturday. The first top button down Saturday and Sunday look wearing a white button up shirt with the top button undone, a scarf, and long coat. He looked.. chefs kiss
He talked about airplanes or something.. he really earned his name Handsome One that day.
If the world is going to start burning down around me.. If the whole world is faced with uncertainty.. Holy shit was I ever glad someone so good looking was telling me.
March 23, He goes total dad mad. He tells us we are not invincible. The Canadian Government begins adverts with recognizable Canadians. A polite “can you fucking not?” goes out to the country.
March 24, He is late for the briefing because he had to speak to the three opposition parties who were passing legislation on emergency measures. He was still in isolation because his wife had tested positive for the virus.
March 25, Emergency Care Benefit and Emergency Support Benefit is replaced by the Canada Emergency Response Benefit. C.E.R.B. CERB is announced.
Phone lines crash.
The next few briefings cover the wage subsidy that would cover 75% of workers wages, he would address the children and seniors. He’d wear a mustard and striped tie and also a green tie that I don’t believe we would see again. Button down days would happen. He’d look fabulous.
PPE acquisition gets a bit out of control, testing ramps up, ventilators are ordered.
11 million masks are ordered by April 2. [Ha. very Jaws voice You’re gonna need a bigger shipment.]
April 3, we sign a contract with Amazon for PPE. Because fuck it, they’ve got it all. 100 million goes to foodbanks. Money through GST and CCB that was supposed to come in May was bumped up to April.
April 4, Shit starts hitting the fan. We’re a few weeks in. This is not going great. This is like going to really, really be a thing and be very, very bad. People are dying.
We charter a flight of PPE. That’s going to be a thing.
He keeps showing up.
April 5, CERB really hits. If you apply you get your money in 3-5 days. You get to apply the next day.. Administrative mayhem would ensue. Canada would break the internet.
April 6, this would be it. This would be the day I made -the gif-.
The briefing that covered an anniversary of a tragedy, followed by him speaking of the Queens address, and Canada falling into the black hole of a virus.
He touched his hair.. Jaw clenched, eyes down, he ran his fingers through his hair without a thought, a natural reaction to this absolute shit show in front of him.
This was the moment. This is the moment we broke Justin Trudeau. We would never see a youthful, bright skinned, or rested Trudeau
April 7, I first called him Handsome One. I did this because it is a clear reference of who I was speaking about but also to avoid trolls and other unusual spectators from my Twitter account. Go ahead. Tweet one tweet that says Justin Trudeau. Don’t even make it positive. Just put those words into the Twitterverse and see what happens. Nightmare.
April 7 was also a big day nationally.
This was..
The Speaking Moistly Day.
Dr. Tam, chief public health officer of Canada, had suggested face masks may be useful. He said masks protect others, but not you. It prevents you from breathing or speaking moistly on them and IMMEDIATELY regrets what he just said saying “what a terrible image.”
It was hilarious and exactly what Canadians needed to amuse them during an uncertain time. It’s still a thing. It is his legacy.
Over the next few briefings Justin Trudeau says the current measures will be in place for many more weeks. [stares intensely in March 2021] They project between 11,000 and 22,000 Canadians could die in the coming months. Business loans become available.
April 11 Justin Trudeau gets out of the house and goes to the Commons to deal with the whole last month.
Easter happens. He urges us to stay apart and stay home.. And he went away to see his wife and kids.
Okay, yeah, that sounds bad written down.. But it was a half hour drive from Ottawa and his wife had been in isolation from COVID and he’s the fucking Prime Minister who’s dealing with a pandemic. He went to his family. God forbid the man finds any sort of joy in his life.
Anyway the opposition wouldn’t drop that for a while.
April 14, he says any travellers that do not have a clear quarantine plan when entering the country must isolate in a hotel.
We really start to lose original Trudeau here. He’s looking defeated.
April 18, He looks damn good wearing a blue button up with the top button down, white knit sweater, and the plaid blazer that only comes out on rare occasion with jeans
On April 19 I slept in. I never sleep in. It was something like 11:30 am and I opened Twitter. Something was going on in Nova Scotia. The RCMP was tweeting that there was an active shooter situation. There was a man with a gun and certain regions should shelter in place.
Nobody had called me, I didn’t get an emergency alert.. A man with a gun isn’t totally unheard of in Nova Scotia so I didn’t give it too much thought.
I realized I had almost slept through the Prime Minister speaking so I started up the live stream and waited.
Justin Trudeau came down his steps in a buttoned down shirt, and started saying “unfolding events in Portapique, Nova Scotia.” “A terrible situation” and my brain didn’t even connect what the local people were speaking about. I honestly assumed a boat went down or something was on fire.. And then he mentioned the police.
The night of April 18 into the morning of April 19, a man who was known to local authorities for domestic violence, criminal activity, and illegal weapons, began a rampage in Portapique, Nova Scotia.
He killed Heidi Stevenson, Lisa McCully, Sean McLeod, Alanna Jenkins, Emily Tuck, Aaron Tuck, Jolene Oliver, Jamie and Greg Blair, Corrie Ellison, Gina Goulet, Tom Bagley, Kristen Beaton and her unborn child, Joey Webber, John Joseph Zahl, Elizabeth Joanne Thomas, Lillian Campbell Hyslop, Dawn Madsen and Frank Gulenchyn, Heather O’Brien, and Joy and Peter Bond.
He was stopped by Const, Craig Hubley.
The evil masquerading as human died face down on the pavement outside of a gas station.
Talking about those 13 hours and everything up until now bothers me. It will always bother me.
My province is wounded and traumatized by those events. We mourned alone while trying to make sense of what just happened in our province of less than a million.. But there is no sense. There is no explanation that we can understand because nobody should be capable of doing what that man did and I pray that nobody else ever will.
April 20 Justin Trudeau spoke more about the tragedy. To give you how little information we all had, he said 18 people had died. I will not get into detail, but we hadn’t even been able to identify every lost Nova Scotian at that time. We had passed Polytechnique. It was the worst mass shooting in Canadian history.
Justin Trudeau asks the media not to use the gunman’s name or his image. My heart was so thankful because almost everyone listened. That piece of shits name should never touch the air, especially Nova Scotian air ever again.
He would say more about the tragedy in following briefings as well, and even rewatching now in March 2021 to review, my eyes well and my heart breaks again. I’m chosing to not speak further about those events. (See Tall Man and Strang review for a small amount of more depth if interested.)
In the April 21 briefing, the media starts to turn. Holy shit, he is crucified in this briefing. PPE becomes an issue. Deliveries are not coming in. There is zero chill happening and he is asked the same questions over and over. I have no idea how he did not lose his mind.
April 22, the Canada Emergency Student Benefit is announced. A mini CERB for students who had lost their part time jobs due to COVID. He also mentions a grant for students volunteering during the summer. That would become a thing.. The most annoying, mind boggling, brain frying politically stupid thing.. We’ll get to that in June.
The next few briefings funding is announced for testing and vaccine trials. Fisheries are given support. The children are given a pep talk. He says they’re working with Ontario and he really, really doesn’t want to use the Emergency Act.
We now know at this time he had offered to use the Emergency Act to the provinces Premiers and they had all said no, and continued to say no.
He had printer problems at a point and also talked about how his mothers apartment had had a fire. He is asked about vaccines and says though they want a vaccine, there is viruses like HIV/AIDS that have never had a successful vaccine, so we should really learn how to live without one. [This may be one of the only times looking in hindsight is not completely soul shattering!]
April 29, a helicopter would crash off the coast of Greece during a training exercise. The crew would be based out of Shearwater, Nova Scotia.
Brendan MacDonald, Kevin Hagen, Maxime Miron-Miron, Matthew Cousins and Abbigail Cowbrough were killed. I watched Abbigails hearse go to her fathers church the month after.
The Prime Minister would speak about this at the briefing on April 30.
May would be a messed up month. Armed forces would be deployed to Quebec and Ontario to deal with the virus in long term care homes and other situations. Tragedies would happen. We would try to be positive, just to make it worse.
I don’t know how the guy did it. I really don’t. Have whatever opinion you want but holy shit did we ever put this human through hell.
May 1, The Trudeau government bans the sale, transport, and import of 1500 assault-style firearms. “You don’t need an AR-15 to bring down a deer.”
A welcome gesture as a Nova Scotian.
May 3, supports are announced for online mental health care and supports for physicians seeing patients virtually or over the phone which for some reason was not a thing pre pandemic. My doctor is a hot silver fox but I’m glad I’ve been able to just call him a few times over the last year than going into the germ cesspool that is a doctors office.
He wore the plaid blazer again. I don’t know why he insists on wearing this. I am not a fan.
The hair is really getting out of control at this point.
Not much happens on May 4, but May 5 was very breezy and he looks just about as dreamy as he can. Business supports are announced, help for food producers is given. At this time many videos were emerging of farmers having to waste their products. Not for lack of buying but lack of transportation and processing and not being able to keep it for too long. An initiative was made for the government to buy anything at risk of waste to distribute to food banks.
He comments that we’re all trying to make sourdough. I have no idea why we did that but like.. We made a fuck ton of sourdough.. Maybe we were trying to find something else to care about.
There was a good hair touch that day.
May 6 he would attend the repatriation ceremony for those who died in the helicopter crash.
The second week of May the government would support provinces in a wage top up for essential workers while jobs tanked across the country. Seven million people would have applied or be on CERB. Two million would be supported by their employer using the wage subsidy to protect their jobs with optimism that they would reopen soon. Millions would go into arts and culture and amateur sports to try to keep some creativity and hope alive and keep us going.
For some reason the Bloc leader and others would start hounding Justin Trudeau about the actions of his father Pierre Trudeau when he was also Prime Minister.. That apparently they had just discovered or thought about going into 5 years of Justin Trudeau being Prime Minister and a few months into a global pandemic. It was weird and uncalled for and just.. Why.
My reviews on Twitter start up again!
I had avoided posting many hair touches and reviews because I like my twitter to be light hearted, approachable, digestible. I stopped because of Portapique, and then the helicopter crash, but May 11 started them up again.
I had no idea my reviews would become a thing but.. They became fairly popular for a while and I am still doing them, though I’d like to think they are more well crafted now.
May 12, GAVI, a vaccine response that Canada will be a part of is announced. It’s really the first talk of the possibility of vaccines. I watched the initial meeting that day or the day before and remember finding it very Umbrella Corps (that is a Resident Evil reference.) It seemed fictionally optimistic.. But now I know they were right.
He made some attempt at controlling the hair. It didn’t work.
May 14 support is given to fisheries. Trudeau says you can’t lobster when you’re inside your house and you are absolutely right boo, you cannot. The subsidy really didn’t cover what a fisher would make but.. It was something.
It’s announced national parks plan to reopen in June but pleasure crafting in the Arctic can’t happen yet. I was not aware that was a thing. That sounds terrible.
He tells us to eat Canadian food and D I D I E V E R .
This is the first time as well I think we hear “scamdemic” said directly to the Prime Minister.
May 15, CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB
Businesses are looking at reopening as cases seem to be going down.
CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB CERB
May 16, he breaks something on the podium but says nothing and fiddles with whatever was broken for the duration of the briefing.
The Royal Canadian Air Force did a tour over the country called Operation INSPIRATION for Canadians battling the virus, frontline workers, and to keep our spirits up.
On May 17, one of the planes crashed not long after take off, seriously injuring the pilot and killing Capt. Jennifer Casey. A Haligonian, Nova Scotia took another personal hit to the heart in a national tragedy.
Around this time the first wave of COVID starts to calm down. Ontario, who was one of the hardest hit, starts looking at reopening. In Nova Scotia we were finally able to see people outside of our household. It looked like it was almost over and if there was a second wave, it wouldn’t be so bad.
In the next few briefings we extend the US-Canada border closure another 30 days. The Prime Minister says if you haven’t been refunded your airfare yet, you’re pretty much an involuntary investor, and he got attacked by a bug.
We lose all control of the hair at this point.
May 25, Canada is reopening. [cries is 2021] Relief is given to landlords.. Because they’re always looking out for tenants. [rolls eyes in tenant.]
Jagmeet Singh strong arms him into federal sick days and Trudeau says he will be urging the provinces to implement such programs.
We find out political parties are taking from the wage subsidy. Ehhh.
The government supports farms with students jobs, we start making our own masks and ventilators because AMERICA WON’T SHARE and also they are beyond fucked and not being reasonable with any other country, long term care homes especially in Ontario and Quebec are out of control with the virus and severely understaffed or undertrained, cruise ships are off the menu and we’re told to stop calling Americans racist because we too are racist.
May 27 we throw Keean Bexte off the Prime Minister’s property.
During this period another area of the internet is also closely watching Justin Trudeau.
While watching all these briefings and doing my reviews on Twitter, there would be times I would need context or not completely understand a reference. (I know a lot about politicians, but not as much about politics) I would do a search on Twitter to find out more.. And that’s how I found the others. The Clone People.
I’ve long admired how he dressed so I’ve always paid close attention to what he was wearing.. or so I thought. In one of the March briefings, Justin Trudeau came down his stairs as he usually would in his suits that appeared to be tailored to him almost daily. Someone, somewhere, noticed there as a very small fold in one of his pant legs. Hell broke loose.
There’s two theories to the fold in the pants. One, that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is on house arrest for crimes from anywhere from sexual assault (!??!???) to war crimes. The second is the theory that who we have been watching is not Justin Trudeau at all. But a clone.
But WHY, you ask, is there a clone? I’m glad you did. There is a plethora of theories but the most popular are 1. Trudeau was killed at the US summit (THANKS OBAMA) and they had to replace him, 2. Pizzagate (if you don’t know that conspiracy theory, you can make that your own journey) or 3. The original Trudeau is in Guantanamo Bay for political crimes, generally thought to be for the SNC-Lavalin scandal.
Stay with me.
These people compare photos of Trudeau up to about 2019 to current Trudeau. They say his teeth have changed (like.. kinda?) his earlobes are different (maybe?) his eyebrows have changed (I don’t think.) They even say his nose is a different shape. They use programs to overlay photos on top of each other to prove themselves.
I read all these things in disbelief. A month later I would get myself into the New York Times because I had studied him so well.. And these people somehow seemed to know more than me.
They even say his mannerisms have changed because he didn’t stutter or hmm and haww anymore.. [That’s since been debunked since he stopped giving such a shit during briefings in the future.]
Allegedly the clones are manufactured or modeled or however clones are made in or around Tofino, British Columbia. I would like to know more details on if there are DIY methods.
Still, stay with me,
The reason why Trudeau didn’t leave Rideau for so long was that clone literally could not leave that property. The tracker was in place for this specific reason.
There is also a House of Commons clone. He looks even less like Trudeau than the Rideau clone.. But thats because he isn’t actually a clone buy a body double.
There is then one more unconfirmed body double or clone or hybrid that can go out. There’s a really fucked up and offensive theory that that one is a Trudeau brother. (Not going to get into that. Just putting it down. Again, very offensive.)
The Clone People are still going as of March 2021, though more slowly. They often bump into the people that believe Justin Trudeau’s father is actually Fidel Castro.
Anywho, just a sampling of some other going ons with the Prime Minister that are usually only discovered if you are painfully as online as I am.
It does make you watch him a bit closer just to see what The Clone People may be picking up.
Then there was June. May was a test of leadership but June would be a political test.
The Black Lives Matter movement that had been building for years sets aflame the systemically racist foundations of America and spreads to Canada.. and then the whole world. What a sight it was to behold.
On the first of the month he announces that municipalities will get a cash advance.. And that demonstrators (referring to BLM) are good and the jerkoffs sabotaging the demonstrators should fuck off.. And also Russia is not invited to the summit he is attending. That. Was. An escalated. Briefing.
The briefing on June 2nd was the most unfortunate, unprepared, shitshow of a briefing.. But to his benefit, he was on time!
He comes down his stairs, his suit is unusually loose, the hair is a situation, but most of all, he has the hiccups. Like bad. Nobody seems to note this but they were disruptive. Almost like the raccoon from Pocahontas when he gets into the liquor bad.. He powers through and speaks about the regular things and PPE, hockey, and a happy Italian heritage month. This briefing really should’ve been a show up and go home but, no. no. fate would not allow this.
.. but we all know the best way to get rid of the hiccups is to startle someone.
Tom Parry of CBC asks Trudeau to comment on Trump tear gassing and using other tactics on demonstrators in the US and if he doesn’t want to comment, what message is that sending. When Trudeau was expected to answer, we were met with 21 seconds of silence. TWENTY ONE SECONDS. That’s like the equivalent of 5 minutes of regular air time.
The master of non answers, the master of giving the illusion that he gave a statement, couldn’t..
He eventually spoke and spoke well but.. Wow. He seemed stumped. There was no good way to approach that one. It was a sight to behold.
He seems pretty well prepared the next the next few briefings for very obvious reasons. Money goes places, but it’s not enough. RCMP will be looked into but they haven’t changed much, America is a throw your hands in the air situation.
June 7 he kneels at a Black Lives Matter protest which is seen as many things but especially performative. But what was he supposed to do!? Can you imagine if he didn’t??
June 8 he acknowledges that he kneeled.
June 9 we rebroke the Prime Minister. All was going well. All was awesome. Things were reopening, we didn’t need his money. The first wave was ending. But NO. We pushed him about Trump and we got pissed off because he kneeled though we would’ve been MORE pissed off if he didn’t kneel, we bitched about CERB, we (rightfully) asked about the RCMP and Black racialized Canadians and Indigienous/ First Nations treatment.
Glen McGregor eventually asks him about interest rates.
The laser beams shoot from his eye balls. He was thiiiiiiis close from not just losing his shit, but vomiting the last three months all over the media. He was set off.
It was nice to see but.. I don’t think he really came back from that.
June just keeps going. He travels to a few businesses as places are reopening. The wage subsidy is pushed as CERB appears to be running out, the military continues to work in Ontario and Quebec, RCMP questions keep going. He defends the current blood donation ban that bars gay men from donating though that is terribly homophobic and he really, really, really needs to throw that out the window. Farmers can apply now for he surplus buy.
June 16 he CUTS HIS HAIR. Not to his regular short hair, a little length, but still, there is some control going on now. I like to think his hair reflects the current state of the country.
CERB is extended another 8 weeks.
The next day would be the UN security council vote that Trudeau very much wanted for Canada. We lost. We came in dead last. Norway and Ireland get the seats.
As the week goes on questions about the Two Michaels detained in China go full steam and temporarily replace the CERB repeated questions. The Red Cross goes to Quebec long term care homes with the military.
June 25 he announces the Canada Service Grant (remember that being briefly mentioned April 5?)
June 29 he says briefings will be less frequent. He extends the rent subsidy. He recommends wearing a mask.. A reporter asks him about the Canada Service grant. The grant would be handled by WE Charity in a $900 million dollar contract. He says WE is the only charity that could deliver this program on such a large scale.
Ooooh noo. Oh ho ho hooooo this would be bad. This would be the most annoying scandal.
The Trudeau family has very close ties to WE and so do a few other members of the Liberal Party. The Conservatives jump on this saying it is a conflict of interest to use WE. Jagmeet Singh jumps on and loses all my respect I had for him (which was a lot) and also tears Trudeau down with this decision. It’s March 2021 and this is still going.. And will be an ongoing theme for the briefings.
June ends as a shit show.
Canada Day kicks off July.
On July 2 a man armed with numerous guns used his truck to ram down the gates of Rideau cottage where the Prime Minister and (then) Governor General live. Reportedly a “friendly sausage maker” the dumbass actually thought that Trudeau would be home during the Canada Day holidays and went onto the property armed and with a motive of COVID lockdown measures, business support, and gun regulations and planned a citizen’s arrest.. Of the Prime Minister of Canada.
Recently this guy was charged with weapons charges, mischief of causing over $100,000 worth of damages, and using firearms “for a purpose contrary to the public peace” which is just as close to calling a white person a terrorist without doing so.
He will do 6 years.. Probably. Maybe. He, again, is white and seems to have a decent lawyer so..
July 3 he holds a briefing at a business. We cancel a bunch of things with China, the lights go out for a minute. Donald Trump had invited him to Washington but he was saying no due to having to self isolate but also the orange glow from down below was a fucking nightmare so that was likely the bigger motivator.. And he CANCELS THE WE CONTRACT. This both fucks over the student grant and an entire charity. (Trust me, I am no bleeding heart for We. I am a child of the 90s and those Kielburgers were everywhere. I can’t stand We. They’re secular evangelists with a lethal amount of a white saviorism complex.)
He acknowledges the attack of his home but says the RCMP is handling it and he has no comment. He doesn’t really bring it up again.
The next two briefings cover the Americans trying to screw with aluminum, he defends the financial snapshot (we had to spend so we did, what else were they to do?), He kinda sorta deflects blame to the Professional Institute of the Public Service to choosing We, though he does apologize and is frustrated that now the government has to revamp the entire program.
Disheveled is putting mildly how he looks at this point.
July 16, $19 billion goes to the provinces for the safe restart program and covers PPE, contact tracing, testing, bettering transport, and further support for the most vulnerable communities.
This is the first time vaccines really come into play. He tells us to just keep still and hold on until vaccines become available.
The next time we will see him iiiis
July 30, he testifies before the Commons finance committee for the whole We scandal thing.
The hair is out of control and he gives off heavy Ancient Aliens guy vibe.
Pierre Poilievre is an absolute.. Pierre Poilievre the whole time. I have no idea if Justin Trudeau has some sort of deep zen, or if he listens to audio of Dr. Tam telling him to keep calm, or if he is drugged like a Kennedy, but I even wanted to reach through the camera and backhand everyone.
He wanted to use the Canada Service Corps for the contract and his team allegedly said it is We or bust.. So they went with We. It wasn’t really up to him and some people are unable to grasp the basic concept that the Prime Minister actually doesn’t really do that kind of work.
The opposition grill him about his close families involvement and how much they had been paid for past appearances with We which Trudeau says he had no idea about (he absolutely did, fuck off) but he does mention that he had had special permission from the ethics commissioner for his wife to volunteer with the charity previously.
The whole thing was just a bad idea that should’ve never gotten beyond paperwork. Was there something a bit weird there? Yeah. Has Justin Trudeau been in politics his entire life and would it be next to impossible to -not- find a conflict of interest. ALSO YES. What, did they want him to use Katimavik? (This is a joke. That was literally founded by his father.)
Anyway, he isn’t charged or anything.. And you’d hope that would be a hands clean ending but it’s not. It keeps going. It dies for a bit, just to pop up again. Nine months later and they’re still going off about the “”scandal.””
July 31 he holds a briefing. The COVID Alert app goes online. It uses your location to find other phones with the app, and if you get COVID, you can put in a key and it’ll alert the other phones (anonymously) that they were potentially exposed to the virus. It’s pretty neat. I’ve had it from before it was even available in Nova Scotia. Never got a notification and hope I never do!
$59 million goes to migrant farm workers and their safety.
CERB switches to a new EI program that is more accessible for everyone, regardless of field. AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.
The student benefit We would’ve covered is a good as dead. The media basically only asks about the scandal. It’s the annoying in between of CERB and Vaccines.
Then he kinda disappears. I can’t blame him. He vacations once with his family and some right wing media jerk tries to out where he is because there wasn’t just an assassination attempt a month ago.
August 18 in a very extra (for Canada) ceremony, Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland is named finance minister after Bill Morneau “”stepped down”” because of his ties to We and his own “”personal reasons.”” Justin Trudeau looked happy with a very trimmed beard. He states he does NOT want an election for the first of seven thousand times since.
There is a briefing on August 21. I tried to live tweet it but was going to the Peggy’s Cove area for my birthday with my friend Mikki who, not a fan of Trudeau, graciously listened as I screamed at my phone to find service and while driving into the one of the most scenic areas of Nova Scotia heard me exclaim HAIR TOUCH.
The next briefing would be on my actual birthday, August 26. He announced two billion dollars would be given to the provinces to safely reopen schools. He didn’t touch his hair on my birthday. I was clearly devastated.
The last briefing of August on the 31st we’re told we have signed for four companies to manufacture vaccines (if approved.) A statue or Sir John A MacDonald had been vandalized. He says he understands why someone would do such a thing which was like YAS KING and then he said vandalism was bad and dropped the mood.
He did touch his hair three times. That overall was a good day.
We first see the Prime Minister in September on the 9th with Ahmed Ismail, The Honourable Mary Ng, and Member of Parliament Greg Fergus. They announce $221 million going into a Black entrepreneurship program.
I was very hopeful the media would focus on the Black community and ask applicable questions on the program.. But they didn’t and just chose to concentrate on Trudeau and ask very stupid questions that could’ve waited. It wasn’t until the end that someone asked about the actual program. He thanked them for that.
The next briefing is on the 11th with Doug Ford. He wears that plaid blazer I don’t like again.. And a sweater that he seems very much to regret in the heat.
September 16 he had an address that talks about MP’s voting in person and digitally, the upcoming Throne Speech, and that they REALLY do not want and election. He looked very, very handsome.
I didn’t realize until this briefing that Chrystia Freeland is a very tiny lady as you can see in this gif.
September 23! The Big Day! The Throne Speech! Governor General Payette wears a mean white suit. I suddenly discover that my life calling is to have the title of the Usher of the Black Rod. Both Erin O’Toole (Leader of the Conservative Party) and Yves-Francois Blanchet (Leader of Bloc Quebecois) are both absent because they both have COVID-19.
The second wave is starting in Canada and they promise wage subsidies, EI, and promise to make Canada wide child care a priority, as well as entering the neglect of seniors into the Criminal Code.
My review gets a few retweets and I see one retweet with a name I recognize. Faith Goldy. I really, really assume it is a parody as I have no idea where she would come across my content.. But nope. It’s her.
I’m not going to explain who Faith Goldy is but I will say we have a mutual disdain for the Conservative Party for mostly unmutual reasons and that is our only like mindedness.
I actually start to sweat. There isn’t really anything I can do to get my tweet off her timeline and I do NOT want my shit in our around her name. What the FUCK am I going to do??
After a rum and coke or two I figure it out. I change my twitter display name to “transphobia and racism is a sin.” .. she apparently does not notice this.. I change it a few more times.. She doesn’t notice and neither do her followers. I later get bored and straight up change my twitter name to “faith goldy is a racist.” It stays. For a while. Like until I change it back to my name. Her or her followers do not have the literacy apparently to notice this directly on her timeline.
It was a highlight of my year, to be honest.
September 25, we sign on to a vaccine called AstraZeneca for 20 million doses if it’s successful [it was! They’re in provinces RIGHT NOW!] and we will also be funding vaccines for countries who cannot afford to order them themselves. He says vaccines are still very much in the future and not to get too excited. [it would be about two months!]
October was lots and lots of money. $10 billion was going to go to Canadian infrastructure, $600 million to the relief and recovery fund, $50 million to women and children experiencing domestic violence, and Ford (the company, not the Premier) was investing in Ontario.
In that time they also put out the bill to ban gay conversion therapy. Donald Trump got the ‘rona and Trudeau said he hoped he would recover (I didn’t believe him), he stated he did not get regular COVID tests, and he did not watch the presidential debates because he is a better human than us of watching that shit show live.
At this time tensions had been building in Nova Scotia since September between the Nova Scotian lobster fishers and Mi’kmaq First Nations fishers.
The first colonizers of Nova Scotia in the 1700’s made an agreement and treaty with the Mi’kmaq that the Mi’kmaq could hunt, fish, and gather in pursuit of a moderate livelihood.
In September the Sipekne’katik First Nation (for those reading that is pronounced sa-bag-en-na-gid-ee) had started their own moderate fishery that allowed band members 50 traps each for lobster. This was a near insignificant amount compared to the regular traps that are set each year.
In 1999 Mi’kmaw fisherman Donald Marshall Jr was arrested for eel fishing during off season. He was found to be doing so well within his rights because of the treaty and this would become the “Marshall decision” as named by the Supreme Court of Canada.. I mention this because this was the dispute with the Nova Scotian fishermen. The Mi’kmaq we’re able to drop traps well before their season that starts in November.
There were arguments that this could affect the lobster population but any fisher knows you throw back anything with eggs or anything small and the Mi’kmaq were.
They also argued the Mi’kmaq didn’t historically fish for lobster thus the moderate livelihood (of which is very undefined) didn’t stand. Yeah, well, historically they didn’t do a lot of things (like be murdered, exploited, culturally voided, converted, and robbed) until we showed up and fucked up their whole program so that argument doesn’t really stand either.
So what did the Nova Scotians do? We set their boats on fire, and cut their traps. We also barricaded the Mi’kmaq fishers in a building and threw rocks and other things at them, and eventually someone attacked the Chief. And in the most fucking stupid backwards retaliation, we burned down their lobster pound,, full of the lobster we said they were fishing wrong. What the fuck?
On October 16 Trudeau did speak quite passionately about this happening.
He uh.. Didn’t really do much.
This was almost kind of resolved by the fucking own of First Nations buying half of the biggest lobster company in Canada. HA. Amazing.
November briefings we’re all just the second wave and the American election, for the exception of calling out Whole Foods for not allowing employees to wear a poppy.
Cases across Canada were soaring (this was a bit uncomfortable as a Nova Scotian. Our second wave peaked at 37 cases in one day and zero hospitalizations.) and he just wanted us to stay at home, especially the snowbirds. Vaccines we’re coming in a few months [it would literally be a few weeks.]
He could not control what the Premiers were doing for the provinces and would really appreciate it if we stopped bitching at him about it.. We continue to bitch without mercy,
He would not say jack about the American election.. Though he looked very pleased when Biden won.
He promised we would all be vaccinated by September 2021.
December kicks off on the 1st with a fairly boring briefing. A fourth vaccine is going into the approval stages, and his hair is becoming a situation again (as mentioned before I truly believe his hair is a reflection of the current state of the country.)
At this point Alberta and Ontario’s Premiers are really giving him shit and he mentions in this briefing that 8 out of every 10 dollars spent on fighting COVID has been federal funding. Roughly translated: I’m doing my job, sorry your Premiers are doing a shit job.
Someone asked him something in French, of which I cannot speak as I am uncultured swine, he answers and the briefing ends. It was possibly the shortest briefing I’ve watched at just 32 minutes.
December 4, The federal government will help the most impacted provinces as much as the provinces will allow. Pfizer vaccine is in review! The military is already doing training and simulations on how to get the vaccine out. He announces up to a billion dollars for long term care funding.
His hair was less of a situation in this briefing and he seemed much more relaxed. We must’ve been at an unknown tipping point in the last briefing.
December 15 is a good day! He looks -amazing.- Pfizer is approved and vaccinations have begun! 200,000 more Pfizer were on their way. The Moderna vaccine would be up next and was very exciting as it didn’t need the special handling Pfizer did. 168,000 Moderna vaccines were just waiting to be approved. He also announces 6.7 million to support a development for a COVID treatment.
The next two briefings on the 18 and 23rd were pretty standard as we wrapped things up for Christmas. Moderna gets approved. Ontario keeps playing themselves. He told us to all please stay home. He continued to look handsome.
The first briefing of 2021 was on January 5. He was 49 now having his birthday on Christmas Day!
He announced that international travelers must have a negative COVID test before even boarding a plane into Canada and that your federal sick benefits do NOT COVER YOUR QUARANTINE PERIOD! He promises again we would all be vaccinated by the fall. We kinda start sucking again with cases. (Again, Nova Scotian.. Terrifying to watch from the outside.)
The briefings on January 8 and 12 he’s a little testy. Cases are going up again. YOU ARE GONNA GET YOUR HECKIN VACCINE CALM DOWN. One of his close guys, Bains, steps down. We shut down to the US for 30 more days. HE DOESN’T WANT AN ELECTION.
He does announce 20 million more doses of Pfizer would come so.. That was nice.
January 15, still not in a great mood. Pfizer announces a delay (which would become a whole annoying thing) the Red Cross have to stay in Ontario, DON’T TRAVEL. A reporter asks him about some very racist comments the leader of the Bloc Quebecois MP Blanchet made and he goes the fuck offfff. He held nothing back on calling him out. It was great. His eyes are so blue when he’s mad.
January 19, Moderna starts rolling out in the North! We’re all waiting for Biden to be inaugurated. He mentions the Keystone XL pipeline and says Biden knows what’s up [Ehhhhhh he did..]
MP Derek Sloan around this time is found to have accepted funds from a notable white supremacist. The Conservatives kick him out. Good.
January 22 is a complicated briefing. Biden became the President of the United States and IMMEDIATELY cut off the XL pipeline. Like literally one of the first things he did. Trudeau is disappointed but like.. Whatcha gonna do?
That week the Governor General Julie Payette would step down. She was pretty much going to be fired for being a super shitty and toxic boss anyway, but they let her do it in a dignified manner. In Canada the Governor General lives next door to the Prime Minister so that must’ve been awkward. But yeah. Good riddance. I think Celine Dion, or me, should be the next one.
Trudeau basically says he knew Payette was a jerk but like not that much of a jerk.
Anyway, vaccines start really speeding up.. And we want to keep the variants out [lol no.]
January 26, not a groundbreaking briefing, but one of his kids makes an appearance (again.)
January 29 we are no longer fucking around.
Airline services are suspended to carribean destinations and Mexico. Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, and Calgary are the only places with airports taking international flights. If you do fly in internationally you have to quarantine in a hotel for at least 3 days until you have a negative COVID test. If your test is negative, you leave. If not, you stay. This will cost you personally at minimum $2000.
Just don’t travel!
Moderna delays happen but not as substantial as the Pfizer delay.
Reporters ask about vaccines vaccines vaccines vaccines vaccines
February starts with a meh briefing on the 2nd. Cases are falling. We’re starting up our own vaccine manufacturing. It’ll be a bit too late but it will be worth it for the actual vaccines and the future. He seems giddy talking about Biden and Harris. It’s at least not a depressing briefing.
February 5, Vaccine delays, lots of “anxiety and noise” but the plan will still work out to have us all vaccinated by the fall. We declare the Proud Boys a terrorist group. That’s about it for that one.
February 9, Pfizer changes the game saying you can get six doses of the vaccine rather than the five they had said before. He has to clarify that the mandatory quarantine on arrival from your sunshine trip is not like a prison camp. Like for real. He has to say this on television and on the internet because some entitled jerks had to drink tap water over bottled water during their stay. I am not kidding and I do not understand either,
The hair is like A LOT. He looks like a Bee Gee.
February 12, Vaccines vaccines vaccines vaccines, HEAR THE ERIN O’TOOLE!? Vaccines vaccines vaccines.
On February 15 he holds a federal briefing to announce Bill C-21 to amend the Criminal Code and the Firearms Act. What is proposes is that no assault weapons (definition used as an umbrella term here) will be legal to sell, buy, trade, bequeath, or transport. There will be federal buy back programs and also municipal support to ban handguns. It would also introduce red and yellow flag laws that would allow people to report potentially dangerous owners of guns that may use them in a criminal manner (which, with the current proposal, would be to even look at them the wrong way unless a rifle.)
A reporter asks him about the genocide in China. He says he is reluctant to use the term genocide.. And he had full reason to say that, but I feel like that will haunt him.
2/10 stars. Not a fun briefing.
The next two briefings to close out the month would cover provinces not being happy with the gun ban.. But mostly it iiiiis?? V A C C I N E S. AstraZeneca is approved, doses of all three vaccines are rolling in, this is all good news except cases are up by 8-14% across the country.
March begins. On the 3rd he is dressed like a thunder cloud and that is the vibe he gives off.. But Miss Freeland is cheery and quite aggressive calls out the Conservatives for constantly attacking their COVID response. A reporter asks why America has higher immunity and why the vaccines are going out faster.. It’s because they all been sick and like over half a million are dead.
On a lighter note he TOUCHED HIS HAIR
March 5, Johnson & Johnson single dose vaccine is approved! That is very exciting. We will have 8 million doses of Pfizer by the end of the month, We’re putting 2.75 BILLION into cleaner transport and infrastructure. A high up military official is disgraced by sexual misconduct allegations and Trudeau has no problem throwing him under the bus in at least a somewhat positive way.
March 8, eh. Vaccines. It is announced March 11 wil be a day of observance for those we lost to COVID-19.
March 12, between March 22 and May 10 we will be receiving a million doses of Pfizer weekly!
$400 million goes into bike lanes, trails, and paths! Very good news as a pedestrian myself.
He looks tired but fairly put together.
March 15, he goes to Montreal and makes an announcement with Premier Legault for $50 million federal dollars going into the expansion of a battery manufacturer. They will have the capabilities to build batteries for medium to large electric vehicles like busses.
I thought this briefing would be more exciting and didn’t nap even though I was tired from writing just about everything you have just read.
The last Trudeau related thing to happen in the hell of a year is.. Craig and Marc Kielburger testify about the We Charity Scandal on the afternoon of March 15 to the Commons ethics committee with focus on the subsidy I first mentioned about a dozen pages ago. Fitting. My mind is fried, but fitting.
Ontario hospitals announced as well on March 15 they were entering wave 3.
He took one hundred eighty six (186) sips of water.
Goodbye.
Katy Jean 